No Party Like a Lagos Party!

I experienced 'the Lagos party' first hand on my very first day in Lagos. I left the office at about 5:30pm after speaking with Chief and meeting the team on a very casual orientation. Work is meant to resume full swing on monday. I figured the weekend would help me settle in and see a bit of Lagos...maybe even speak with Uncle Adim so my dad would relax a bit.
Uncle Adim is my dad's eldest brother, I recall growing up we would spend time in his Huge mansion somewhere in Ikeja. This was years ago when we were kids, before my folks relocated to England. He moved to an even bigger mansion somewhere in Lekki I heard. We see him and his family ever so often in England that it just really didn't feel like I had missed them in anyway.
Called Tunji on my way from the office ' Hey mate! Here finally' I said with as much excitement as my tired ,sleepy self could muster.
'Hey man! How you doing? where you at?' Tunji asked all at once 'Hope you are ready to see Lagos tonight' he continued excitedly
'Not today man, I need to unpack and get something to eat then sleep...' I started, only to be cut shut by the ever fun ready Tunji 'Guy, you sound like my grandmum!we will sleep when we are dead. Rounding up at the office, will be at your place around 7-ish'  he cut the call emphatically, then called back 'Guy, text me the address'

My Driver,My Oga and the Head Office

Ikoyi-Falomo Bridge

My apartment was certainly beyond what I expected. It was a spacious 3 bedroom apartment on Bayo Kuku, fully furnished and the facility was amazing! Pool, Tennis Court, a garden you could have a small party (I was already thinking Barbeque).

Exhausted after the flight, but was too excited about my apartment, I spent the next 3 hours unpacking, admiring the apartment and calling family and friends in London to let them know I was safely home, and calling the few friends in Lagos to let them know I was here at last.

Home call was a bit long, my mum is a bit of a stalker, she is German and my dad Ibo. While she monitored my flight online and called the very second I landed, My dad on the other hand wanted me to get in touch with my uncle, just so I have family close by...we'll see about that.It pleased my dad a great deal that his first son was going home to work as an expatriate.

Back to reality, I had to go to the head office.

I called Nuru, my designated driver. Elderly, and knew his way around as I got to find out later.

'I am downstairs sir' he said 'I have pack in front'  he said in his almost good English. It took me all of three months to fully understand Nuru's Yoruba accent.

Cheerful, reliable Nuru. I was and still am lucky to have him as my driver. asides his occasional whining about his 2 wives and 5 children. Don't ask me why he has 2 wives, I never asked him either, just silently thought it was stupid.

Lagos Na wa!

Bros welcome back'  said the seemingly friendly customs officer as I walked towards the baggage claims area of the Lagos International Airport.

I smiled my thanks and said 'good to be back home' I spoke too soon. The next 5 hours between the baggage claim area at the airport and my apartment in Ikoyi opened my eyes to the fact that 'Good to be back home' might be stretching it too far.

I had every airport worker asking me 'wetin you bring for us na'  which I later found out was quite normal, followed by a broken conveyor belt, that kept me waiting for my luggage for two hours.

Finally met my work Colleague in the protocol department Yetunde. She was quite pretty and friendly, we had spoken about logistics for a few days before my flight, so it felt like we had already met.

Then she ruined the happy meeting by these words 'Kene, be ready for the Lagos traffic Baptism, ongoing work on the 3rd Mainland and this is rush hour'  She explained

 No exaggeration, it almost took me longer from when I disembarked the Virgin Atlantic flight at about 5am to get to my official apartment at Bayo Kuku in Ikoyi, than my entire journey from London. Exhausted, but my apartment made it worth the trouble...the office went all out!

It was about 11am, and I told Yetunde  I had a meeting at 4pm at the Head Office , if the driver could come get me at 3pm so I wont be late. I had checked on google map, it was a 10mins drive. But she laughed and said 'Kene, google map doesn't work in Lagos. It can show you the Lagos, but traffic determines how long it takes'  she was quite obviously amused at my naivete 'the driver will be here at 2, they are fixing the new bridge that links Ozumba Mbadiwe to Falomo...'

'So another traffic?' I added

'You catch on fast' she joked 'try and get some rest Nuru will drop me off and will be waiting for you whenever you are ready'She scribbled Nuru's number and gave me a few other emergency contact numbers and said her good bye. 

I knew I had to 'shine my eyes' in Lagos, I had a few friends who like me had returned after long stays in other countries, returnees like I later found out we were called,  and they had lots of fascinating stories...some too out of this world to be real. I was excited about being back home.

I had heard about the traffic, the parties, the insanity and the fun..not two stories sounded alike, and I was finally here to experience it all on my own...

My name is Kene Duru, I just moved back from England.