Lagos Na wa!

Bros welcome back'  said the seemingly friendly customs officer as I walked towards the baggage claims area of the Lagos International Airport.

I smiled my thanks and said 'good to be back home' I spoke too soon. The next 5 hours between the baggage claim area at the airport and my apartment in Ikoyi opened my eyes to the fact that 'Good to be back home' might be stretching it too far.

I had every airport worker asking me 'wetin you bring for us na'  which I later found out was quite normal, followed by a broken conveyor belt, that kept me waiting for my luggage for two hours.

Finally met my work Colleague in the protocol department Yetunde. She was quite pretty and friendly, we had spoken about logistics for a few days before my flight, so it felt like we had already met.

Then she ruined the happy meeting by these words 'Kene, be ready for the Lagos traffic Baptism, ongoing work on the 3rd Mainland and this is rush hour'  She explained

 No exaggeration, it almost took me longer from when I disembarked the Virgin Atlantic flight at about 5am to get to my official apartment at Bayo Kuku in Ikoyi, than my entire journey from London. Exhausted, but my apartment made it worth the trouble...the office went all out!

It was about 11am, and I told Yetunde  I had a meeting at 4pm at the Head Office , if the driver could come get me at 3pm so I wont be late. I had checked on google map, it was a 10mins drive. But she laughed and said 'Kene, google map doesn't work in Lagos. It can show you the Lagos, but traffic determines how long it takes'  she was quite obviously amused at my naivete 'the driver will be here at 2, they are fixing the new bridge that links Ozumba Mbadiwe to Falomo...'

'So another traffic?' I added

'You catch on fast' she joked 'try and get some rest Nuru will drop me off and will be waiting for you whenever you are ready'She scribbled Nuru's number and gave me a few other emergency contact numbers and said her good bye. 

I knew I had to 'shine my eyes' in Lagos, I had a few friends who like me had returned after long stays in other countries, returnees like I later found out we were called,  and they had lots of fascinating stories...some too out of this world to be real. I was excited about being back home.

I had heard about the traffic, the parties, the insanity and the fun..not two stories sounded alike, and I was finally here to experience it all on my own...

My name is Kene Duru, I just moved back from England.